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BLOGGERS and BLOG FANS:

There is voluminous bellecositization of the environment ahead due to self blogulating guitar players who apparently launched one of their sorties over the landscape and engaged in vile interaction without the supervision of a rhythm section. Only professional, guitar-player-anchoring crews should venture beyond this point. While I have tried in some of the more disassociated self-promulgatory love- me- for- my- twang fests, to provide a calming sea of words that might serve as a buffer between their mutually trashy tongues I admit that had a few slipped under the surface of my calming seas, the world would probably be a bit lighter and crispier.

The behaviors of these creatures can be puzzling. Understand that if your life view was rewritten into standard musical notation, it would appear as a great symphony; and theirs, a poorly executed 2 beat run of 16^th and 32^nd notes. These interchanges were picked up on the usual channels and are provided to familiarize you with your future mission. Also, these particular players have signed on for the initial invasion only, thereafter serving us best as casualties we do not report to the public. While there are 3 standard issue, dime a dozen, guitar players, one of those will actually get down on the Rhodes (OK (Yamaha digital grand) and one is bangin some film chick in Hollywood.

ATTENTION: BLOG THRESHOLD YOU ARE ENTERING THE BLOG BLOG THRESHOLD YOU ARE ENTERING THE BLOG PLEASE SUSPEND TEMPORAL AND SPATIAL PERCEPTION YOU ARE ENTERING THE BLOG LAST WARNING BLOG THRESHOLD PEACE . . .

(what it is only fair to tell you)
MIGUELITO
a REAL musician and part time state bar-fly Miguelito's clever wit and eloquence all too often leaves his opponent far behind, mouth agape
lawyer
SEAN
best know as lead guitarist extraordinaire of streetdog fame SEAN will pummel non-believers until they beg for mercy
catholic
KEISLAR
if streetdogs are lost souls, Bob is their Shepard. His reconciliatory magic can end brutal meat scrap squabbles and his analytical powers can slice and dice any average blogger's offering
atmospheric physicist
ZIPHLER
tall, gritty, mysterious, a powerful presence, usually given a wide berth by those all too familiar with his erratic and often dangerous behaviors, nonetheless he is loved by all
incredibly handsome

CURRENT TOPIC


We therefore no longer ask that you remain quiet after entering the match.
Loud expressions of approval for ZIPHLER of course excepted


Set up: begins as most, with Miguelito in disarming innocence, reporting on a small discovery at the student center of the University where all 4 bloggers conducted their lives in the seventies while technically enrolled as undergraduates. In fact, all four may actually hold degrees from UCSB but have never been vetted


MIGUELITO

Hey, speaking of hilarious, check out this photo. It's hanging on a wall of historic photos inside the [University of California at Santa Barbara' University Center] It's identified as the picture of a band playing in back of the UCEN in the late sixties, I believe 1969.



MIGUELITO

Now, check out the Guild Starfire the dude on the far left is playing.



Here's the fun part. He looks like the dude I vaguely remember buying my first good guitar from--a Guild Starfire--in the very early 70's. Mine was dark red, like the one in the picture probably is.

Now put the following facts together:

(1) Guild Starfires were fairly rare;

(2) The guitar in the picture looks exactly like the one I bought, right down to the oval tailpiece that replaced the Bigsby that originally came on it;

(3) The dude looks like the guy I bought my guitar from, and is about the right age. I think he was graduating and therefore was selling his guitar at the time.


Could it be??? Is that possibly MY GUITAR in the photo??? My long-lost, beloved original STARFIRE???

I think so.

SEAN

Mike, I think there is good circumstantial evidence for that being you in the picture. Should have never let go of that guitar, man.

SEAN
day 2 2006 12:46

Guys, Dan has a new email. I'm in Santa Barbara-going to meet with Klaus and maybe Floyd tonight. Floyd wants to do a reunion jam next year down here. Its beautiful here!

If so, was he insulted by the very idea of lowering himself to keyboard player status? Nah. I believe the man may well have less shame than even I. Desecrating the sound of music! My DOG! I am almost shocked, or at least stimulated.

But enough of that for it strikes me that you, Miguelito, may have keen interest in laying your hands on a vintage (1970's) 3 foot PEE WEE HERMAN Doll in its original cellophane and cardboard container - unopened - as if right off the toys-r-us shelves from a more innocent day before all that dirty biologic reality imposed it's starkness upon us. AND, it just so happens, that I, the center of the universe, have the timely opportunity to lay my hands (washed of course) on not one, but yes, TWO!! of these coveted items. Now these aint no Saturday nite poker with the boys kind of prices of course but seeing as you are in the government contract business, I'm sure you can find the extra fuel needed to close the deal

But more important than even all that - what'll you guys see and hear my new bass!

Lovingly yours, ziphlerdog

MIGUELITO
day 6 2006 22:10

I'm not sure, but I think Ziegler has invited me to play keyboards at some unknown place/time in a band that may or may not exist and that may or may have include one or more Pee Wee Herman dolls. If so, i wish he'd just say so in plain English!

I'm certainly game, assuming it's on a date I can make it. Perhaps a free Pee Wee Herman doll would cinch the deal, though my performances are worth so much more than that. . . . the doll would be used only as a religious icon, of course.

On a related subject, all hail Cardinal Keislar the First, for his deep, profound and abiding faith in Starfirism!! He is my first and most coveted disciple/devotee/convert. I hereby appoint him the Science Minister for the Institute of Forensic Proof of Starfirism. All bow down before him!

Yours in Pee Wee,
Miguelito

ZIPHLER
"MIGUELITO"
"I think Ziegler has invited me to play keyboards at some unknown place/time in a band that may or may not exist"
Precisely!
"MIGUELITO"
"i wish he'd just say so in plain English!"
I couldn’t face another rejection like the one I experienced with my first foray across the great communication divide just 5 weeks ago (recreated below)

P.S. the fraud and forgery division has analyzed the submitted evidence for the create a new religion and erase 8 more independent thinking minds every hour drive and has determined that the weeping PEE WEE photo was definitely doctored. I mean, come on! Those shoes! They are a fashion impossibility.

P.S. don't worry guys. I won't be working too hard. I wanna see this picture you all keep a yappin about though!
"MIGUELITO"
Oy, another "doctor" purporting to "debunk" another religious myth/hoax. Sheesh, when are these science nerds going to let up? Even Cardinal Keislar has come around to see the truth. If he can do it, you can do it. Come on, who are you going to believe, a pawn of the medico-pharmaceutical cartel, or your OWN EYES? It's PEE WEE! As far as the July 4th "band" invitation, wouldn't you know the good doctor would send it while I was away on my annual 2 week vacation to Santa Barbara? It's the standard excuse ("I was in Santa Barbara!"), but it happens to be true!

Miguelito

SEAN
day 7, 2006 7:09 AM
RE: Mystery of Mike's Guild Starfire---Solved!

It is quite an intricate pattern in which the essentials details must be apprehended (sortof like a Dead poster?). Very different from a Cardinal construction and exposition. Of one thing in Dan's missive we can be sure-he started his fucking job that day.

I hope it was a good day!

Sean

KEISLAR
day 7, 2006 07:19

Every day is a good day, Danny! Every fucking beautiful day! And night time's even better! That's the number 2 & 3 tenets of

MIGUELITO

Miguelito
p.s. I realize I'm the Prophet of Pee Wee, god of but remind me again, what was tenet #1?

SEAN
day 7, 2006 09:43
My Guitars should anybody care:

1. 2004 Martin D-16RE Premium, Sitka spruce top, rosewood back and sides, striped ebony fret board, Spanish cedar neck, fish man sound system with mic and pickup.

2. 2003 American Telecaster, maple neck and fret board and ash body, single coil fender pickups

3. 2005 Gibson ES-137 Classic, maple neck, rosewood fret board, Grover tuners, 496 and 498T hum buckers

I would say in all modestly that these are three beautiful fucking guitars, no shit! With these three guitars I can get any sound worth getting and do virtually anything. (Now if only I could play.) Now I'm told I need a fender for the fender and a Marshall, boogie, or AC-30 for the Gibson. I will experiment.

Sean

I was merely trying to show you that is a materialistic sham. I worship the

The three form a power triangle, from which the light of higher consciousness emanates. were heretics who drank too much jolt cola during the period of computer-musicality, when computers took over creating music from the musicians. Fender, Gibson and Martin created the musical instruments and wrote the computer code that eventually terminated the evil control over musicality. Yes, I'm afraid the Cardinal has misled you. Let his doctrine be anathema!

Sean

Servant of the

MIGUELITO

OK now, Sean's email strikes me as just a little too precious. I'm sure that somewhere in there, there's a connection to what we were talking about, but I'm having trouble finding it. Maybe it has to do with Tenet #1 of thou shalt worship and shamelessly brag about thy guitars. Now those are admittedly some righteous axes, dudes. And Sean is just the man to grab them by the neck and wring every last sweet screaming tone of them. I wasn't aware of the ES 137, that must be new. Excellent.
ZIPHLER wishes to point that two don't make an in

Now, I get to brag pursuant to Tenet #1. My guitars:

1. Guild Starfire III, from original Guild factory in Westerly, Rhode Island.
2. 1969 Gibson Les Paul Custom, 1954 reissue, Ebony neck, with P-90 single coil pickup at the bridge and Alnico V single coil at the neck.
3. Gibson Les Paul Deluxe, with mini humbuckers.
4. Fender American Strat, two texas special single coils and a hot rodded seymour duncan humbucker at the bridge.
5. Guild DCE5 dreadnought acoustic/electric, Ebony neck.
6. Martin Alternative X Grand Concert aluminum top acoustic/electric.
7. Martin Cowboy II acoustic.
8. Martin Backpacker acoustic.
9. Ibanez 4 string bass (this counts--basses ROCK, right Dr. Z?).

Amps:

1. Mesa Boogie DC-5
2. Fender "Super" Deluxe
3. Vox DA5 practice amp (brand new--I LOVE this thing!!!)
4. Genz Benz Shenendoah 100 acoustic guitar amp with extension cabinet

That's all for now--I'll keep my keyboard and bass equipment/amps etc confidential! Sean, I believe my first amp (that I played my first Starfire through) was a Vox AC15. You should come over and try out some amps. Enoughchit chat. I LOVE guitars. Sean, bring yours, I want to see them. I loved your Tele.

In the name of Pee Wee
Mike

KEISLAR
(Cardinal Keislar, as the reigning religo-political leader of Starfirism, second only in spirituality to the great founder of Starfirism, Miguelito, had to issue a strong response to this blasphemy by the heretic Sean Kennedy! Or wait . . . just ignore the babbling delusions of this madman and maybe no one else would take him seriously . . . Or better yet, kill him with kindness! Yes! A stroke of genius, Dear Cardinal, if I do say so myself!)

(Cardinal Keislar composes himself for the important announcement . . . )

Greetings all! Surely Mr. Kennedy doesn't see us as all that evil. Perhaps we can invite Mr. Kennedy to a card party at the Cache River Circle temple and extend our every hospitality (while we quietly take his money! Ha ha!). The wide world of religo-musicality surely can accept one so learned in the ways of the Martin-Fender-Gibson as Mr. Kennedy. Surely he could come see to see that we are pious, musically reverent folk. Then we could discuss our gloriously intersecting spiritual paths. Come then, come Mr. Kennedy.

Yours Truly,

Cardinal Keislar

MIGUELITO
Day 8 , 2006 22:13

The Prophet is impressed.

How fortunate I am to have the benefit of not one but two such insightful and deeply wise beings as spiritual advisors so close at hand. On the one hand, Swami Sean correctly points out that no one brand of guitar can possibly encompass the infinite gloriousness of Guitar, capital "G" (rejection of mono-Guitarism). The all-seeing Swami eloquently extols the indisputable virtues of the holy trinity Martin-Gibson-Fender. On the other hand, Cardinal Keislar brilliantly points out the futility and absurdity of all internecine Guitar wars, and correctly divines that embrace all true Guitars, not just Starfires. As suggested by the omniscient Cardinal, there is always room in the tent for all faiths that embrace any form of Guitar.

Cardinal Keislar and Swami Sean are hereby both duly anointed and appointed to the holy Guild, where they shall serve as trusted advisors to the Prophet Miguelito. Sean, by virtue of his great heart, Keislar by virtue of his impressive brain. Should the good Dr. Zeigler ever convert from the dark side of medical science to the light of Starfirism, he, too, shall be appointed to the Guild, by virtue of his deep courage. The Prophet applauds the suggestion of Poker as the one true religious ritual for purging all impure non-Guitar thoughts from our souls. Let the planning begin! The Temple of Miguelito would be humbled to serve as the divine location. Re-runs of Pee Wee's Playhouse will be prominently featured.

Finally, the Prophet Miguelito acknowledges that there are forms of holy music even beyond Guitars; as such, he would be deeply honored to add the black and white yin/yang of his piano keyboard to the mix at the upcoming musical brew-ha-ha at Zeigler's in SF, schedule permitting.

In the name of the Fender, the Sunn and the holy Guild, amen.



-

Any resemblance to PEEWEE behind bars is purely intentional. Is he suffering for your sins or right where he belongs? YOU decide? I don't think so. That's where America's true greatness once rested, not in the will of the majority but in its protection of minorities.

ZIPHLER

Have you ever heard the expression "He's unteachable?" Of course you have. Isn't it amazing how the most fundamental, substantial, and innocent appearing building block implants the presumption of its veracity with its own self declaration.

"Here I am!" it cries out, and before it even completes the sentence we have applied the resultant presumption "it's not anywhere else" in a thousand different ways. We can't even take credit for making the assumption. It has simply been dropped into our data base, pre-fabricated, without so much as a spurious "did I just hear something?" gurgling into our uncollective unconsciousness.

"Oh, sure, sure" you say; thinking you have got a handle on this semantic conundrum because you did factor in the assumption and the presumption. Oh, and you know Mike, I REALLY do have a pre-wee-wee PEE WEE doll to sell you. Actually it's Richie who picked up two and stored them away so long ago - I remember vividly how little I thought I should have cared the day he bought them and told me they'd be worth something someday. Yet I knew these pieces of inventory were not finished with their abduction and occupation of some hopefully small nook in my mind.

Nay, I do not digress. The wool has been pulled over your peepers. If not by the mechanism in paragraph 2, then by your compensation for it. You figure: it said something, it must be there - or at least somewhere. But in this case, our little "it" didn't cry out "Here I am!" IT was "quoted" as having uttered itself into existence. It really DOES depend on what "it" is. A statement so profound, that I gain new strength, and enlightenment, from it every day.

The problem my boys, is not that you may be unteachable, but that the three of you are starting to appear like you may be teachable! One only need look over the fence anymore to see another cowardly spoon-feedable American who is sedated, overfed, and ridden with guilt. He knows that like Mr. PEE WEE Herman in the peeps, or Miguelito swaying to the rousing brass flourishes of "the hills are alive" while hunkered down in the balcony at the FOX Theater’s 30 cent matinee, something excites him that shouldn't. Now I doubt PEE WEE felt any guilt while he was whacking it with the pack. I suspect that, like Jesus, he would feel consternation at the religious accoutrements and ranked hierarchies from prophets to fuckable choirboys that gather round to be "taught".
Sooner or later you will have to ask yourselves why I am at the center of the Universe. I doubt you have ever asked this question. Miguelito, a scientist would certainly tell you that such a place is indefinable at least until we are able to define the limits of the universe. Yet, I know exactly where it is, not because I am there but it certainly helps that it is here. Oh, and I'm afraid I'd have to agree with Sean about that whore the cardinal who you so freely anoint and appoint as he prances thru his "gloriously intersecting spiritual paths". What kind of religious icon cavorts with fundamentalists of different fundamentals. No, he straps a bomb to the belly of his neighbor's kid and tells him to go meet God.

The evidence is clear Miguelito. It is the Keislarian who truly schemes with his mathematical equations. And how easily he can deceive the great prophet because, as a scientist he at least has the tools to objectify the battlefield and thereby sees light where the religious fanatic has pinned his darkest fears. Science is simply a language but there are those like the clearly obsessed Keislarian who can make the mistake of elevating science to a whorshippable, TEACHABLE level.

So what's it gonna be Miguelito? Hand it to Sean, whose had always laid his cards on the table, at least since that fateful day in Isla Vista when he determined and announced that he was going to allow the teachings of Christ and the Bible to wash him clean. What about Keislar? While it is a bit uncharacteristic for him to waive incense cans around after smearing himself in anointments of deceit and calling himself Daddy, it is not beyond a scientist to exploit any nuance in the travels of universal particles if it may shed light from a slightly different angle on something he's trying to see. And you know, this guy has always put his cards on the table too. Since those heady days in Isla Vista Bob Keislar has called himself a "teacher"

So what about Miguelito? With the subtly of a politician running for president he cautiously but steadfastly tests the water as he approaches the center. All he need do is appear to have God’s ear and then WALLA! He can declare himself PROPHET, GOD's mouthpiece. Oh my God. A fucking lawyer!!

By the way mike. What news on the chest? Is it gonna blow? With the luck one can only attain at the center of the universe - i drew the king of hearts - get out of jail fucking free card. However a little further down where the suns don’t shine there may yet lurk a threat to the palace.

SEAN
Ahh yes, The Z is up early and off to his job! I hope he cures a few people! I'm not sure why, but that bit of articulation was very stimulating! I might even have to analyze it and break it down (because I do my homework and never read quickly else a mistake could occur). Dan, I would have to say you are a bit of an existentialist in your life-philosophy. Its phases such as these: "Yet, I know exactly where it is, not because I am there but it certainly helps that it is here..." That statement make me think, or should I say, squint and look away for an instantaneous glance of what I thought I saw. The conception of God is a human construction. But you guys know that, correct? Everytime we utter the word God or any word it instantaneously removes us light-years (as if we fell into a worm hole) away from the reality we try to express. And here's another observation: How earily familiar it was to hear Dan say that the essential point is what "it" is because it reminded me of the true prophets who said God said "I am". In this context the connection of "being" is what "it" is all about. So we find out that the "is" is paramount and should be included in "it" is. Again, the existentialist formulation.

And if you like the writer Dan, have you ever read Martin Buber? Try him sometime.

ZIPHLER

I had already washed my hands of all of this as Sean so astutely surmised due to an early launch window for the planet Oakland only to have the countdown aborted and a hurry up and wait, we're going to San Jose directive. I honestly do not know how or why this job thing is such the golden tittie to you guys (can you believe Microsoft wants to change the word guys to people even though the same sentence contains the word tittie).

As far as this existentialism thing goes; I have been called that before. I have always assumed that it was an explicative deleted kind of thing until Miguelito came up with that word that again escapes me that refers to one who is loud, verbose, and overbearing or maybe overly self-interested or something that anyway seemed accurate. I now count on the earl to explain big words to me although he probably does not know that. Existentialism is a word used in those core courses at UCSB that I never took. I thought you got to stay there forever if you didn't complete the core curriculum but one day a man in the psychology building called me in and as I sat and watched he just used his pen and created an entire smorgasbord of chick flick type mush topics, a veritable humanities orgy and feast of touchy-feely things I had supposedly experienced or accomplished while at UCSB. He might have even used my participation in the streetdogs a questionable abuse of their intensely honed and vetted ethical standards for some sort of sordidness. Then, with the second flourish I've used in a sentence today, and with a disgusted look on his face that I can only describe as accusing, while staring right at me I might add (you know, like you malingering little smart-ass FUCK!), he transformed me. I became not just the most well rounded prototype of the new 1980's UCSB graduate, but a perfectly rounded dough dough boy, freshly fluffed by the system. Yeah, OK, existentialism is a subcategory of philosophy, which is a word that defies even my well-balanced turbocharged hemispheres. It breaks down as study of love, no, that would be philology. I seem to remember someone once saying it meant love of man. Huh? [and how did a subject like philosophy ever take ownership of a subfield called logic?] What could existentialism mean other than the promotion or advocacy of existence? OMG! I am sorry to sound like a valley girl but gag me with a backhoe. If this is what it is then; time out, I take umbrage, I want a hearing. Hey, in fact I want a lawyer. Moreover, I do not want to hear any of this nonsense about how you have to be damaged to collect damages. [Are you sorry yet that you encouraged me (if even just slightly), SEAN?]. The word could only mean; everything is everything except that nothing is nothing. Yeah, and feeling good was easy lord, when Bobby sang the blues. At this point I am compelled to issue a warning to all within e-mail shot:

Everything is everything except that nothing is nothing ≠ it depends on what is is.

The symbol in the middle is a not equal sign. [I have always had trouble figuring which of you still converts everything to the grossly limited text format. Come on you pansies! We have finally laid the feminists to rest “no Virginia pussies are not dicks”] But guess what Microsoft want to do? It wants to change the 2nd nothing to the left of the not equal sign to “anything”. WOW! . . Shut me up. That is heavy. I think I just witnessed a dual-core Pentium 4 think. Nah! On that note, without ever having gotten to my point I am off to SJ (lucky you). Miguelito, send over the necessary retainer papers and detailed word definitions.

MIGUELITO

Miguelito exclaims

HEY! What a coincidence! I'm at the center of the universe too!! Hey neighbor!

Mike
ZIPHLER
Praise the Lord and Pass the mustard He has (not seen the light) attained enlightenment or he's trying to kiss my ass to get a pee wee Herman doll - or maybe he's just being a good lawyer like I asked. But no, his attitude is too independent and he's calling me neighbor. Maybe if I act like I don't see him he'll go away. . . . . But there is something familiar and appealing about his perspective

Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything,

I believe it is all three of you who convert everything to this anachronistic text format. This stunningly dates you as doddering and just so you aged ones know, almost impossible to communicate with .

anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything,

Hey does anybody know any good guitar player jokes. Like what's the difference between a Minnesota bobtailed catfish and a guitar player - one is a scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish! HA HA ah HA OH that is rich . ,. . .

anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, Everything is everything except that nothing is anything,

ziphler

SEAN
Day 11 2006 14:05
RE: Everything is everything except that nothing is anything, etc., etc., etc., etc.

Nah..he's just saving up and gonna lay one good whooppaas lawyer brief on ya.....and we're not talkin fruit of the loom.

Mike's a cagey one.

That guitarist joke sucks!