Recent fundraising activities for the first of a plethora of shrines to Miguelito, the self proclaimed prophet of PEE WEE,  expected to pop up wherever an interstate exit site can support one, have run into a series of mysterious setbacks. Speculation grows that there is an organized attempt to thwart this well-deserved elevation to martyrdom and  that PEE WEE, who has remained imprisoned within Miguelito’s vast complex of interconnected temples, parks, retail outlets, and state of the art multimedia broadcasting facilities, is still smarting from alleged abuse received in Miguelito’s new impulse control program instituted in reaction to the growing scandal that has swept the church of PEE WEE, and is behind this campaign to prevent Miguelito’s martyrdomization.  . Experts seem to agree that the church of PEEWEE is run if not directly then indirectly by MIGUELITO who has consolidated his power in recent weeks, partially by the controversial use of doppelgangers.  

At a hastily set up news conference Kardinal Keislar, accompanied by his long time companion LEEANN, read a prepared statement saying, in part, that these growing hardships that Miguelito faces only confirm how deserving Miguelito is of  PEEWEE sanctified martyr status. “None of the rest of us in the R/TC have ever been misunderstood and we should all recognize the obstacles created by individual interpretation of words”. This last statement  or words similar  have found their way into most  organization’s official positions in reaction to the implementation of the recently passed, so-called “lip-service/doublespeak” bill requiring acknowledgement of the inherent irrelevancy or even deceptiveness of statements made by anyone calling himself a scientist or associating himself with the truth.  When asked whether he had any comments regarding ZIPHLER’s recent interview with a rival news organization in which Ziphler appeared naked as part of his “emperor’s new clothes protest” over changes in organization and even the name of the R/TC, the Kardinal seemed to misinterpret the question saying with dismissal  “AH! Too old for my tastes”

LEEANN has become a story in her own right.  Rising out of obscurity  to become the most prominent of the one-name celebrities through her association with the Kardinal, recently she has become the focus of increasingly bitter attacks by the Keislar FAITHFUL WHO FEEL THAT she has deprived them of their source of spiritual and entertainment nourishment. Anonymous sources at the official KARDKEIS fan club have told this reporter that there have been calls for investigation after recent remarks from streetdogs guitarist Sean Kennedy led to riots in Isla Vista by fueling the suspicion that LEEANN was the catalyst for the breakup of the STREETDOGS.

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DECLARE PEACE

Please download Java(tm). A couple of stray dogs have staked out some webscape nearby which has caused a series of unpredictable ripples to develop in the local link net, creating an unsettling stability in connectivity and a subtle increase in server up times (an often cited parameter for measuring a website's reliability) in neighboring websites that occupying the same region of the net.

"We decided something had to be done about Guppy" the elder of the canines explained, referring to  Ray Guppy, a Streetdog, who disappeared under spectacular circumstances which are widely believed to have been engineered by peaceables as a diversion, allowing  them time and a credibility gap with which to either kill him with kindness  or, as most believe, whisk him to a local beach community that has become stronghold  for old fashioned hippies and advocates of the power of love movement.  

"Ray Guppy has been missing for an extended period now and there is new information about the kidnapping and brainwash of his brother Jethro that has shed light on Ray Guppy's plight." explained the apparent leader of the group. When asked if he implied a connection between the infamous seduction of Jethro, and Ray's mysterious disappearance some 15 years ago, the unidentified highly placed canine simply said that the power of love was "a daunting force [and] it's time we stop pussy-footing around. We have hung back thru too many random repeated rains of generosity and joy, not knowing where these agents of goodness and light will strike next, and frankly, we're starting to look like a bunch of goddamned sissies.  No longer will we wait for them to define the time, nature, and location. Today we draw a line in the sand. We are going to wage peace and we're taking the fight to them."

A single photograph of Guppy in which despite his aggressive stance and use of obviously vicious hand gestures, has an unmistakable glint of near overwhelming ecstasy in his eyes. This photo has become an icon to the growing sentiment to fight back. No one however, until last week, really thought that Ray Guppy could have stood the now 14 years and 3 months  of this kind of punishment.

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